Ode to a Box of Mike and Ike's

You, in the green box!
Yes you, all of you!
Little, Green, and Yellow, Orange... RED!!
Yeah you, the RED ONES!!!
Yes you destructive little guys, like... Like....
LIKE the huns!!
You hide in your big green box, all small and fruity, sweet and sticky
Waiting for me to falter.
Waiting for me to lose my dreams to alter,
my health and well being,
Original fruits flavor?
You must be scheming!
You sit there beaming!
And your bright colors abound!
But you make me fat and round!
Go back to your box, and stay there!
Never more to see the light and air,
You think I should care?
Hah!!
You little sugary nibs, you're quite the Dandies,
Its like me with noodles,
I end up eating the whole kit and caboodle.
Yeah...
Really.
I wanna be good, and eat right,
but a box of you is like afternoon delight.

Ode to a honeycrisp Apple:

How long its been my long lost.
Crisp, sweet, cold.
You become morning breakfast.

Ode to a Salad and Dressing

Romaine, Zuchini and Celery and Broccoli.
For Green is the color of money.

Raw Beets.
For Red is the color of blood.

Parmesan shreds.
For beige is the color of Earth.

An impromptu Balsamic Vinaigrette.
For black is the color of doom,

And "Et tu, Caesar" will never do.

Stir and mix,
Mix and stir,
Toss.
For chaos is.... The color of ALL.

Ode to some late night pie:

I wanted blueberry.
You said you had Boysenberry.
I ordered Boysenberry.
You gave me Blueberry.

The check said: Boice & Berry Pie
A LA MODE

A boice, and a berry.
With a little dairy.

A mystery... Boice, about you, tell me more,
are you delish down to your core?
Could you be better than my blueberry,
Such a thing could not be, or else.... Never More.

Ode to Mashed Cauliflower:

Mashed, Bashed, Smashed, Crashed,
Crushed, Smushed, Mushed,
Buttery, Garlicky,
Delish.
Omm,

I am BigRed destroyer of veggies.

Ode to a mistakenly purchased jar of creamy peanut-butter:

Seriously...
No... look, just hear me out.
You...
Yes you, in your near identical window dressing.
Similar in every... single... way...
You... Are... an impostor!
I made a mistake, but only because you and crunchy look so very similar.
In fact, unless I am paying attention
in the peanut-butter section,
I
Might
Buy
You.
And in so doing,
I will ruin a weeks worth of PB & J sandwiches.
No amount of double deckering, potato chip, fresh fruit,
ENHANCEMENT!!!
Will save these sandwiches from you.
You are an iceberg to my Titanic, a spark to my Hindenburg,
I hope, we shan't meet again.
Life is too short, and you,
make
me...
Meh.

Ode to a Croissant

I was so hungry I could have eaten a shoe.
But in this case you'll just have to do,
buttery and nice,
what would be right?
Perhaps just a slice,
if a slice,
were and option,
for me and you.

Ode to Lunch

Point Seven One pounds.
Melon, Pineapple, Strawberries, Tuna salad, corn, chickpeas,
A list of delish fulfilling... yummery please.
Once upon a time I dreamt of meat all ground,
patty formed with french fried potatoes oily and golden brown,
But now for lunch I eat fruit and protein
So I can become a man lithe and lean,
For tomorrow is another day, of protein shakes,
workouts and muscle aches,
and dreams of being not the man who was both red and round.

Ode to Frozen Fruit Bits:

Alas, Snacks,
You are deft and fell enemies.
Fresh, dried, pressed, crushed, popped, baked, fried, chocolate covered...
Frozen Fruit you are my knight in shining armor.
Frosty, tastee, sweet.
Pineapple how do you get chopped so uniformly, so perfectly triangular?
Blueberries, Blackberries, Raspberries, and Straw.
My fingers are sticky sweet, frozen and purple.
Alas, I am home.

Ode to some recent fruit:

Borrowed Bananas, are mighty nice,
better than a piece of ice,
Frozen fruit you're pretty neat,
and some might say you can't be beat,
but being me, prone to flights of hyperbole,
will tell you now,
I cannot love you more,
than my tiny apples right down to their core.

Ode to his hubba bubba strawberry watermelon gum:

You, the last of your tribe,
tropical punch, watermelon, bubble gum lost to a changing world.
Last of the mohicans,
you stand fearless against the grim black of eternity.
Though you are now flavorless...
and nearing your end,
Danielle Day Lewis should play you in your biopic.

Ode to a pink lady apple:

Alas, pinkest of ladies,
you are not so pink as your are pale red, dappled apple.
Thou without faults cast the first apple seed,
and plant yee an orchard,
to teach a man to fish you need an ocean...

Ode to a Disney Peach:

Its a small world after all,
where peaches frolic
toward the happiness that is my mouth
and it crushing morality,
Eh-Hem moLarity.
To die to sleep perchance to dream,
cause iiit'ssss a smaaaall world after all,
and its the ciiiiiiircle of liiiife,
and I'm one step ahead of the sword,
and you've got to pucker up your lipsss like dis, and bat your eyes like dis.
Disney dreams and peaches sweet.

Ode to some Fast food chinese food:

Self destruction abounds,
evil torn asunder into chunks of sweet, spicy, barbecued doom.

You make me sick.

Ode to a smallish Apple:

You were bruised, battered,
and beaten before you ever got to me and my office.
So I put you on a pedestal,
watched you,
admired your beauty,
even with your bruises,
some seen and others not.
But then I used you, did with you ...what I would,
took control, made you mine,
and took from you everything you had to offer.
You were delish.

Ode to a borrowed banana:

You weren't mine, but then you were.
Borrowed, begged, eaten.
Glycemic index be damned,
to the fiery metabolic inferno you go!!

Ode to a Medium Organic Apple:

Apre Dinner,
Post Lunch,
Linner, Lupper, Dunch?
An apple by any other name, never tasted so sweet.

Ode to a Tiny Apple #?:

When the heart doth grow fonder,
me thinks the lady doth protest too much.
But now, pushed out by your love I suggest a threesome.
Cheese, Apple, Aaron.

Perfection. Sigh.

Ode to a bowl of fruit:

Chopped,
Sliced,
Diced.
Oh So
nice.

Ode to a tiny apple #6 or #7:

Marbled like the acropolis,
you are also fresh like the acropolis.
That is.....
not.
Golden proportioned though you are,
crisp and new you aren't.

I still love you.

Ode to a Tiny Apple #5:

Your tinyness sometimes a virtue.
Today, my hunger un-sated by you, must look for more.
My love for your still burns greatly oh tiny sweet red and yellow beguiler.

Ode to a Tiny Apple #4:

Once you were but a seed.
Sweetened by the sun, left to grow and mature into all your glory.
Then you were plucked and gassed, bagged and tagged.
And now I'm eating you.
Cruel world, oh....a cruel world.

Ode to a Tiny Apple #3:

Twist your stem,
tell me who i will marry when you break...
No, dare not to dream,
stay within your walls,
though round you cannot step out of your box.
Apple Apple in my belly, who is the one, tell me tell me.

Ode to another tiny apple:

My apple is sweet and tasty,
and though it has pips inside I'll not be hasty,
to eat it fast and consume with greed,
those very pips and spread those seeds.

Ode to a tiny apple:

You are tiny,
but named for Fuji,
Strength, Calm, Serenity amidst the bustle...
Delicious, though tiny
I am eating you,
Nom Nom Nom